Dah baca tajuk entry ni kan? so korang pon dah tahu kan yang aku pon sebenarnya pernah dan telah direject oleh lelaki. Ya. Aku tak tipu. Buat apa aku nak tipu pasal hal-hal duniawi macam ni. Seriously, down deep in my heart, aku kecewa sangat. After keeping this feeling for him, akhirnya aku capai satu kekuatan untuk bagi tahu dia yang aku suka dia for ages.
At first, he asked me why I like him and did I know about his past. Aku cakap aku suka dia kerana rasa tu datang dan aku sendiri tak tahu macam mana boleh suka. Words can't describe how much I like him and everything about him make me feel so bloomy. Zdan pasal sejarah hitam dia, yeah aku tahu but I didn't say so. I used polite reply. Aku cakap what is past is past. The thing is aku dah tahu sejarah dia but still aku masih suka dia malah bertambah-tambah suka sebab aku terima dia for what he is today dan bukan who he is yesterday.
Yup. Percayalah this is what old people used to say for all this time along, love is blind. Does not matter what sins he has commit, if you fall for him, you fall. Aku sedia untuk terima dia dan sejarah hitam dia, sebab pada aku every human being is a sinner. The difference is big or small. Tapi they deserved for a chance. A chance to change. To be a better human and servant to Allah S.W.T. We as human and servant also, tak boleh nak punish diorang. Kita menumpang sahaja kat dunia ni. Beside, good guy for good girl. Aku ni tak adalah baik mana to judge people, whether they good or bad. It's all in Allah hand.
Pada aku, I'm not good enough to get a good guy. Maybe dia jahat 3 years ago, but 3 years is quite long time. And people change. Alhamdulilah, I think he's better now than he is when the first time I met him. Maybe dia tak pilih aku because I'm not daring as his ex, not sexy as his besties, not hot as his chicks. So, aku terima after being rejected by him. Aku tahu sooner or later aku akan jumpa another person in my life and maybe the same thing happen again. Maybe he would reject me or I'm the one who gonna reject him.
For now, I'm broken. Yeah. Lama aku tunggu and actually I was hoping for a good happy ending like he gonna say he likes me too. But too bad, I was being fly to high to the sky, forget that rain will come over anytime. Right now I feel like criying. Not in eyes but in my heart it's already rain heavily. Time will heals everything but for how long? That's bother me so much.
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